Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
