omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
