if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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