Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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