Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
