he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize