Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
