All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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