she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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