and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
