so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
