If that was your dad, he is hot
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
