It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
