she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize