Say something about gay babies.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
