Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
