We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
