I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
