There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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