so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
