google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
