its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I need to sanitize my soul.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
