and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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