You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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