The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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