I want to make a zoo with you.
Ketchup is God's man juice
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize