i just had sex bonerless
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Randomize
