You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
