After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
