I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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