Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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