it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Are we still banned from the library?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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