The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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