So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
