Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
