I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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