She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
