wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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