With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
