The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
