this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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