I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
