So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
