Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
