You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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