Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
