So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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