Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
