Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
