Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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