I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
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