her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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