it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
