I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
