I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize