I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
