New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
